Office Xmas party

Publié le par Dolce Vita

December 1
I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols...feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 2nd
In no way was yesterday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.We recognize that, Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides with Christmas (though unfortunately not this year). However, from now on we're calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to employees who are celebrating Kwanzaa at this time.  There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung. Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty Lewis
Human Resources Director
December 3rd
Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to  accommodate this request, but, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only," you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the gifts exchange-no gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.
Patty Lewis
Human Researchers Director
December 7th
I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table. Happy now?
Patty Lewis
Human Racehorses Director
December 9th
People! People! Nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan," there is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit."
Patty Lewis
Human Ratraces
December 10th
Vegetarians! I've had it with you people!! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit whether you like it or not, you can just sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death," as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponics tomatoes. But, you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream.  I'm hearing them right now...Ha! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?
The Bitch from Hell
December 14th
I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to her at the Hospital. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay. Happy Holidays!
Terri Bishop
Acting Human Resources Director
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Commenter cet article

François 02/12/2005 17:22

Ou comment ne pas faire de fête pour ses employés...

Dolce 02/12/2005 15:23

Nous aussi on fait une "holiday party" qui ne choque personne (Christmas ou autre par ex.) et cadeau de 25 dol ou moins. Affaire a suivre !

smellykat 02/12/2005 12:01

ah ben celle là je la connaissais en français ! et j'avoue que c'est assez éclatant !

Thierry 02/12/2005 09:35

Au risque de me répéter (ce blog est absolument délicieux) : EXCELLENT !

Kristof 02/12/2005 04:24

C'est marrant, aujourd'hui, 1er décembre, je viens de recevoir l'invitation pour la fête de Noël (a spirit cruise on the Potomac). On prépare aussi l'échange de cadeaux (pas plus de 15$ le cadeau pour nous)...
J'attends de voir si tout va s'enchainer de la même manière!